5407 (5407) wrote,

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Little picture of Saddam I get to use to ignite things with, toy gun looking thing so I can shoot others and myself in the face, and a bright, blinky thing that reminds me of cop lights, but could cause seizures in some. Fun toys, until I lose them. Also got a silver rocket for Angela, if she wants it. Really odd paying more for the lighters than for a carton of cigarettes, even if they are each only 5 bucks.

The wonderful fool that I am, out of desperation, perhaps talking to people who seem to care for the wrong reasons. Just tired of always swallowing it, trying to forget it as it devours me from inside. I think I decided I have given up trying to fix things. Was not open for the first time with he who was trying to help me. Went to all the trouble of getting the chance to speak to him, then blew it off. All unimportant, really. I have only one goal at present, try to make someone happy, then I again do not care. This one little thing appears as though it may take much effort and time. All I seek is their smile and joy.
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